Foolish Games
by Prettie Parker
Summary: One girl, torn between the life she can never forget, the love that got away, and the new life she's built, beside a man she truly loves. Dean/Haley/Jax SPN/OTH/SOA
1. Chapter 1

_**Foolish Games**_

_Strike me down, Give me everything you've gotStrike me down, I'll be everything I'm notCount the questions on one handYou don't ask me what I planned_

The brothers were stopped at a little family run gas station, flooded with locals, and small town charm. Which was ironic since the town's name was Charming. The brother's had been driving all night. They had only stopped in this no name town for gas, and junk food meant to fill like a meal. The break was only meant to last ten minutes tops, but it would end up turning their lives upside down in the blink of an eye.

Standing at the back of the shiny Impala that glimmered in the warm sun, Dean filled her up at the back near the trunk. While Sam sat in the passenger seat, door open, going over the newspaper clipping in his hands. "Man attacks his daughter believing she is possessed. I'm telling you Dean this is our kind of gig for sure." Sam spoke up, relaying the lead as if Dean hadn't heard it a million times on the ride already, as his thick fingers ran down the fading ink print.

Dean didn't disagree as he pulled the handled nozzle from the bottom of the car. His eyes shot out onto the horizon as he rose, and in an instant something caught his eye. Freezing him still for a moment as his emerald eyes zeroed in. Shiny, thick golden locks, and the way they swayed in her movements sent memories flashing through his mind. Moments on humid days filled with captivating smiles that always managed to win one from him too. Moments on muggy nights where her silky skin kept his company, where her plump lips stole the breath right out of his mouth until the mornings light. Moments of softness as his fingers slipped through her silky locks. Moments where his heart found life.

Numbly, without a thought processing in his mind, Dean put the gas pump back into place before his feet blindly moved. Driven by a need all their own, from an organ trapped inside his chest that hadn't seen life since her presence.

"Says here, the girl is at the local hospital in stable condition. I think that should be our first stop." Sam carried on, oblivious to the fact that his brother not only wasn't listening, but had disappeared all together.

A driven man with a driven step, Dean moved toward the image that called to him in his loneliest places, on his darkest days. There she was, his biggest regret in the flesh. There was no stopping the force field that pulled him to her. It was like oxygen to breath, the urge to blink.

Without a glance to his surrounding, Dean crossed the street, and stepped into a parking lot on the other side. He barely noticed the crowd of bikers surrounding her, or the man by her side, he was completely transfixed by her, and her alone.

His boots stilled on the pavement as his thick rough voice spoke up with astonishment. "Haley?" Dean wearily questioned. The logical part of him uncertain it was her, what are the chances, but the pounding in his heart couldn't have been more sure.

She spun around in a second with the sound of her name. Those same hypnotizing golden locks swaying in her movement. That same light shining smile on her face that was her claim to fame, but it dropped as soon as she saw him. Disbelief replaced her normal charm as Haley stared at him silently in shock for a moment. Finally when the moment began to feel awkward she found her tongue. "Dean?" Haley rhetorically questioned as if there any doubt. Unable to believe her eyes.

Not needing an answer for what her heart already knew, a smile exploded on her face as her eyes lit up like stars in the sky. "Oh my god!" Haley exclaimed before rushing to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, crushing him in a hug.

Desperately, Haley held onto Dean as his signature musk filled her nose, and her heart skipped a beat the way it always did near him.

Feeling his arms wrap around her in return, holding her tight, Haley could have stayed there forever. In an embrace that always felt like home no matter where she was, no matter how much time passed. In his arms she stayed as time disappeared like grains of sand. Only when it became painfully clear she had to pull away, did she.

Taking a step back, Haley met his stunning eyes, and instantly felt it. That magnetic, electric spark that was always undeniable when she looked into his eyes. A cherished gift that today felt like a curse.

"What are you doing here?" Amazement still thick on her breath, matching in her eyes as she stared lost on his image. Haley could hardly believe she was looking at him. Having been so certain she'd never see him again when he had driven off into the sunset two years ago. She had honestly thought her memories of him would be all that was left to make up for a lifetime of missed opportunity.

Mesmerized by her image, everything else faded into the back as Dean let a seductive smirk steal his face with the sight of her. "Working a job over in Tracy. Just stopped for gas." His pert pout moved smooth like him, but Dean could have cared less about the words coming out of his mouth. It was her and only her that consumed his mind.

Not until a claiming arm snaked around her waist did Dean finally realized she wasn't alone. His emerald eyes scanned the group of bikers standing strong beside their bikes, glaring at him. Dean didn't need to be told she belonged with them to get the message.

Feeling Jax's grip pull her back close up against his chest as his soft lips leaned around to place a kiss on her temple. His facial hair tickled the side of face as Haley remembered where she was, who she was with, and how much she loved him. Wrapping her hands around Jax's at her waist, Haley gave him a gentle squeeze of assurance before her voice picked up. "Dean, this is Jax. My… My boyfriend, and these are his friends." Trying to be polite, but her words ended up coming out more nervous then she ever would have liked.

That was the under statement of the year, Dean thought as his piercing green eyes landed on a scruffy, long haired, goatee wearing, pretty boy. With piercing blue eyes that didn't back down from Dean's stare. Dean noted leather and cotton appeared to be his attire of choice, as his steel bike just behind him said without words he considered himself a badass.

Glancing over her shoulder with a sweet smile to calm him trying to smooth things over, Haley found Jax's narrowed eyes on Dean, and explained. "This is Dean. He's an old… friend." Haley told a little white lie that resonated inside for what it was, but now didn't seem like the right moment to be explaining what Dean was to her. Haley wasn't sure there would ever be a good moment to explain to Jax everything Dean had been to her.

Jax nodded silently accepting her answer, but the look in his eyes said he wasn't a fool either.

A scoff let Dean loud and echoing with her answer. A silent bullet of tension rising between the two men.

"Well we should be going." Jax announced as if he made law, and being the son of a leader to a notorious biker gang, and heir to the throne, he did. Untangling Haley from his arms while still keeping a protective eye on her, he stepped to his bike, and climbed on.

"Yeah, me too." Dean barked back with just as much testosterone as if to say he wouldn't be dismissed. He had places to be.

Offering Haley one last twisted smirk, Dean turned to leave, but her voice calling his name halted him. The melody of her voice as she called his name always made it sound far more magical then when anyone else called it.

Turning back their eyes met in the moment, something noticeably sad in Haley's gaze, but the smile on her face told him she was trying to be strong. "It was good to see you again. Take care of yourself." Slipped from her lips, and ached in her heart. There had been a time she would have given anything to stand by his side for forever. To finally find him again, but only after she'd moved onto another life hurt more then Haley could have ever imagined.

Lost in her eyes, something sweet and soft filled his orbs just for her. Something only she could bring out in him. "You too." Dean stated simply, before he cut it quick and clean, and walked away.

Standing there as she watched him disappear from her life yet again, Haley was sure it only lasted a second, but in her heart it lasted forever. Stirring old memories of a time before, when he walked away from her then too, and left the shattered pieces of her heart on the floor.

Only when Jax's thick callused knuckles softly brushed her cheek did Haley return to reality.

Turning to him, she found a gentle smile on his face, compassion in his eyes waiting for her. Haley couldn't help the laughter that fluttered inside her as she gripped his shoulder, and climbed onto his bike. Pulling her helmet on, Haley wrapped loving arms around Jax, and leaned close against his strong leather clad back.

As they rode away into the sunset back to his house, Haley realized Jax and Dean were two of kind. Strong men who loved to appear hard for the world, but underneath was just a soft heart, waiting for a gentle touch to open it up.

_Strike me down, Should have asked me what went wrong,Strike me down, Should have stayed away too long_

Making it back to Jax's house where Haley had been living for the past nine months, they barely made it through the door before the interrogation began.

"Who the hell was that, Hales?" Jax barked loudly. Direct, but not threatening as he charged into the living room. "And don't say you friend, because we both know you don't sleep with your friends, and I have no doubts you two have." Giving it to her straight in a truly Jax way, he slumped down on the couch, and lit a cigarette.

Standing in the living room entryway, her shoes dug in carpet as Haley stared at him for a moment with her lip tucked between her teeth. Taking a deep breath, she was honest with him because she loved him. Only leaving out the ugly, hurtful details, the way he would with her.

"He's an old boyfriend. From back when I lived in North Carolina. I never thought I'd see him again." Confessing the truth in the simplest, un-detailed terms, Haley shrugged her shoulders as if that said it all. Dean's image surfaced in her mind as she spoke, and all the feelings his image could invoked stirred within her. Feelings she could only pray wouldn't show on her face. Dean had been her first real love. She had thought she'd experienced love before him, but not until Dean did she realized what it really was. Haley told herself she loved Jax just as much, and there was no doubt within her that she did love him, but there were moments of brutal honesty where she wasn't so sure it was the same as it had been with Dean. Haley convinced herself that was ok, because Dean was her distant past that would only fade more over time… until today.

Not an idiot, not by a long shot something about it didn't sit right with Jax.

"Then what's he doing here?" His eyebrows jumped with emphasis as he pointed out the pivotal question.

Looking him in the eyes with softness in hers, Haley tried to quiet the worries held back on his tongue. Seeing Dean again had been a fluke she was sure of it. This was her life now, and despite the bumpy road it was, this was where she wanted to be.

"You heard him, he's on a job in Tracy. He was just passing through." With calm assurance, Haley tried to settle the jealousy stirring in her boyfriend.

"That's convenient." Jax muttered low on his breath as he took another long drag of his cigarette. The nicotine stick woven between his blonde mustache as his lips pressed together. Looking at his girlfriend he trusted her completely, but it was also painfully clear this guy was a sensitive topic for her. Some people wear their heart on their sleeve, Haley wore hers in her eyes, and Jax could always read her like a book that way.

Shrugging her shoulders, Haley shook her head in disagreement. "Not really, his job takes him all over." She added as if that fact would change the nagging in his gut.

Looking her point blank in the eyes, this time his heart was the one shining to see, Jax verbalized what his instincts were telling him. "He wants you back." He stated with certainty on his rough voice, as if there wasn't a shred of doubt within him before he stubbed out his cigarette into a bowl.

_Well in case you failed to notice, In case you failed to see,This is my heart bleeding before you,This is me down on my knees, and…_

Seeing that look in Jax's soft baby blues every thought of Dean disappeared. Softening her heart with the vulnerability she saw in his eyes, Haley went to him. Never able to deny him when he let his big heart shine. Standing before Jax as he remained slouched on the couch, Haley's delicate hand reached out, and lightly touched his scruffy face.

"No he doesn't, but even if he did. Too bad, I'm taken." A gentle smile touched her face with love as their eyes shared feelings that spoke louder then words.

With their eyes held and locked. A spark lit with her conviction in them as Jax grabbed her hand, and slipped it from his cheek. Holding it in his rough textured palm, he gave a quick tug. Pulling her onto him, straddling his lap, Haley didn't even pretend she wanted to resist.

Inches apart, this wanting, hungry urge was palpable between them, and growing by the second, Haley found herself putting their tension conversation to rest. "Let's forget about him. Your mom has Abel for a few more hours. I think there's better ways we could be spending our time." Her lips moved slow and wanting, a coy little smile on her face as her hands tugged his leather club vest off his shoulders with intent.

Jax didn't disagree, the same heated feeling rumbled up within him too. Letting her pull his leather off his arms, as soon as his hands were free he hurriedly cupped her cheeks before his hungry lips dove in. Haley didn't mind the smoky taste to Jax's kiss, in fact she had grown to like it. It became aligned in her mind with his sensual seducing kiss. Their lips came together with a passion that seemed limitless between them. A passion so red hot it was one of the thing that tied them together when everything else was trying to pull them apart.

"You're going to be the death of me." Jax groaned out a joked as a smile filled his face in between kisses, while his rough hands slipped from her face to pull up the hem of her shirt.

Feeling the fabric slip past her face, in a second Haley was hot against his lips again, eager for his kiss as a mischievous smile stole her face. "But a good death, right?" She teased playfully back in the heat of the moment.

Jax's lips stopped their rampage for a moment as their eyes caught, something indescribable filled his baby blue eyes as he gazed lost onto hers. "The best." He admitted breathless from their kiss, and the love she pulled from him. Jax was crazy about Haley. He never thought he could be that crazy about a girl after Tara but Haley changed everything.

Captured in his arms, Jax took her by surprise, and flipped them, pinning her to couch beneath him. A smile eclipsed Haley's face with his frisky playful nature as their lips united ready for more.

They carried hot and heavy, undressing each other. Basking in the seducing sensation of editable kisses, and the feel of their warm skin against each other, until a jingle filled the room, attempting to kill the moment. "Ignore it." Haley's shuttered breath pleaded as she kissed him harder trying to distract him.

Pulling his phone from his back jean pocket, all Jax had to do was read the name on the caller ID to know he had to answer it. "It's Clay. I have to take it. Could be club business." He explained with a disappointed grumble, and words that said it all.

Untangled from her, Jax climbed off the couch, and answered his phone. The conversation only lasted a few minutes, but Haley could already tell by what he was saying into the receiver he would be leaving.

Grabbing his vest, and shirt off the couch, Jax placed a quick kiss on her forehead, and whispered sorry against her skin before heading out the door.

Lying there like a forgotten thought, her weight pressed into the cushions, the fabric imprinting her almost bare back, Haley watched him disappear with the greatest disappointment in her heart. Not because their moment was ruined, but because once again the club came first. The club always came first. She figured she could be ok with that if she was a biker chick like Gemma, but she wasn't. Haley had no doubts she loved Jax, and that he loved her, but his life, and that club was becoming an ever bigger wedge between them everyday. Something about the things the club did, didn't sit right with her. In the beginning she had thought she could get past it. Even more wishful thinking, she thought she could change him, because she saw the all gentle kindness in his heart, but after all this time reality had set in. The club wasn't going anywhere, it would always be his life, in his blood. She wasn't even sure had the heart to try and take that from him. Lying there alone, half naked on the couch, Haley wasn't sure what that meant for her and Jax.

_These foolish games are tearing me apartAnd your thoughtless words are breaking my 're breaking my heart…_

_Songs used,_

_Jewel, "Foolish Games"_

_Sneaker Pimps, "Lightening Field"_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Lightening Field**_

_Strike me down , Give it everything you've got Chance me now , I'll be everything I'm not_

_Ask me now , Fire at everything at once, Strike me down , Take it any way you want_

It was a warm summer day. Early in the season before the California heat became putrid. The stunning starlet known as the Impala hummed down the quiet residential streets. Having never been there before, but knowing just where it was going. Finding the house in question, the big classic car pulled smoothly along the curb, and parked.

It's occupants sat silently inside for a moment. A moment of contemplation. A moment to second guess. A moment to analyze what a bad idea this was. All moments valid, just depended on whose mind you read in the car.

Their eyes spotted her in union, like when they speak at the same time. She was seated on a blanket that was sprawled out on the shabby lawn of the front yard. A baby in hers arms, that she smiled on, and held lovingly.

"You sure this is a good idea, man?" Sam questioned. The first to speak, always the voice of reason.

Dean's confident emerald eyes finally left her image to land on his brother beside him in the passenger seat. Cocky smirk blinding his face before he spoke. "Of course it is. Don't be such a pansy."

The brothers climbed from the car, steadily and smooth as if they did it more time then not. Walking up the drive way of the modest home. Haley was already on her feet, and meeting them halfway when their boots hit the grass.

"Sam!" She acknowledged with glee first. Having missed him last time she ran into Dean. Reaching for the towering man with a gentle face, they embraced in the quick hug. Pulling back her shining chocolate eyes hit Dean. Sexy smirk already on his face for her, filling her belly with butterflies, and sending a silly grin to her lips. "Dean," She noted before leaning in for a quick hug. Far less intense then the one they share before. The baby at her hip helped keep the distance.

Pulling back she eyed him with complete surprise. "How'd you find me?" She questioned with a silly smile. Her eyes still lost on his. The urge to pull her eyes away should have been natural, but with him it never was.

Dean shrugged his shoulders in his cool smooth way. "You know I have my ways." Something arrogant about the way he talked, but not disgusting, the way it would have sounded coming from anyone else.

A huff of laughter left her chest as her head shook with his familiar trademark charm that managed to get to her even now.

Sam eyed them carefully. Noting the way their eyes were lost on each other as if they had never parted at all. His whiskey eyes fell to the chubby baby in her arms, and he couldn't hold his tongue any longer to the oblivious proof she had moved on.

"And who's this?" Sam asked, a soft smile on his face as he reached out the shake the little guys hand. Pointing out to his brother without ever saying the words what he should really be noticing.

A gentler nurturing smile filled Haley's face as she looked to the precious Abel in her arms. She knew what Sam was insinuating, what Dean must be thinking.

"This is Abel. He's Jax's son from a previous marriage, but I'm pretty fond of him myself." She beamed with the joy that sweet little baby could bring out in her as she took his tiny hand, and waved it at the brothers.

Dean's smirk grew ten-fold as he shot Sam a glare as if to say "Ah-Ha!" Turning back to the adorable little baby in her arms with baby blue eyes, and full cheeks, Dean was more then happy to offer a compliment now that his fears were put to rest. "Kids are great. He's adorable." He smirked with a nod even though his eyes drilled on Haley, and not the baby in question.

"Yeah, I think he's a cutie." She agreed before leaning in to place a quick kiss on his plump baby cheeks, and earn a smile from his cute little mouth.

Turning back to Dean, Haley was startled for a second by the intense look in his eyes. She had almost forgotten he could look at her in a such a way.

Licking her lips that suddenly felt dry, Haley couldn't pretend any longer. "Not that it's not great to see you guys, but what are you doing here?" Her tone was serious and edged with nervousness. Part of her almost afraid of what his answer would be. Lately she already felt like she was on the brink of her limit for what she could take in her life. The last thing she needed was Dean coming around, and pushing her over the edge.

His charming smirk faltered with her tone, but wasn't lost completely as his voice came to life to answer. "I, uh… I remembered I had an old jacket of yours. Thought you might want it back." Dean fumbled with his excuse. The same excuse he had given Sammy for needing to see her too, but from the incredulous look in her eyes when he said it, Dean could tell she believed him about as much as Sam had.

Ignoring the look in her eyes, Dean turned to his brother. "I left it in the car. Mind going grab that out of there?" The question was loaded, and they both knew it. Dean wasn't asking his brother to grab a jacket. He was asking him to give him a moment alone with her. Using the only valid excuse he could muster, and the way Sam hesitated for a moment told Dean, Sam knew what he was up to, but being a good brother, he nodded, and left for the car.

Finally alone with the girl of his dreams, for the first time in two years, Dean couldn't help, but just stare at her beauty for a moment. Soaking it up, wishing it could kill the starving ach inside him when she's gone.

An alluring smile that beckoned to him without words filled her face before she spoke. "You didn't come all this way to give me jacket, Dean." Not an ounce of doubt on her face as her eyes glued on him, searching for the truth even if part of her was terrified to hear it.

A Cheshire cat grin widened on his face as she caught him. His head shook lightly from side to side as his tongue ran quickly across his perfect pout. "No I didn't." He admitted.

Reaching out, Dean snagged her free hand at her side, and brought it to him, clasping it in his. He noted the trepidation filling her eyes as if she already knew where this was going, and part of her wished he wouldn't. But there was something else in her eyes too. Something that still called for him. Something that would always be his.

Their eyes held in the moment as Haley's heart pounded in her chest like a rabid animal. She knew she should pull her hand away, and if it had been anyone else she would have, but this wasn't anyone. This was Dean, and she couldn't seem to make her body to do it.

Their tangled eyes said things she knew his lips were dying to say. That he still needed her, that he still loved her. That the only time he pictured himself happy was still with her. It all came through in a glance between emerald and chocolate orbs.

His lips parted, and Haley hung in suspense for what he'd actually dare to say, but it would never come to pass.

In a second, a loud foreboding voice filled the air instead. "Oh you are one stupid son of bitch!" Jax hollered with the fury of a hurricane as he stormed out of the house. Shirtless, his creamy skin glowing in the sunlight, his sculpted body on display as his baggy jeans hung low on his hips.

Haley yanked her hand back, wrapping Abel in both arms so he didn't get scared. "Jax," She started, but he only cut her off, and continued on his rant to Dean.

"Coming to My house! To hit on My girlfriend! While she holds My Kid!" Jax was blinding with rage, and wasn't even attempting to hide it or control it this time.

"She's not your property, or what, she's not allowed visitors." Dean sneered as his eyes met steel blue ones, never backing down.

"Get hell off my property, and don't ever come back here!" Jax hollered, taking another step toward Dean. Moments from blowing his heated temper. Abel and Haley were the only reasons he was keeping himself in line. His strong arm out stretched pointing exactly where Dean should be heading, his car.

Dean's shoulders squared as he stared at Jax without a blink, like a rebellion's stand off. "I'm not going anywhere until Haley asks me to leave." Dean through back.

The altercation impossible to miss, Sam forgot the jacket, and raced back up the lawn with a quick step. He caught Haley's pleaded eyes, before he stepped in between the feuding men who were seconds away from throwing punches. "We're leaving." Sam spoke calm and to the point. Trying to settle the situation down. Placing strong hands on Dean's shoulders, Sam pushed his brother back.

In his departure, as Sam dragged him away, Dean flashed Haley one last sexy smirk. Haley cringed inside with the sight of it, and closed her eyes. Not sure if he did it to piss Jax off worse, or because he actually cared, but if she had to guess, it was probably a little of both.

Muscular arms folded tight against his strong toned chest, Jax stood at the edge of his property until the Impala disappeared from his eye line.

Making a quick turn around in his boots, Jax charged for Haley. His eyes barreling down on her with fury before his lips shot to life. "Give me my son." He order in a non-negotiating way as if she would have fought him on that anyway.

Carefully handing Abel over, Jax held his baby son close, and charged inside the house.

Haley took her time going back inside. Already knowing the fight that awaited her. Already knowing she had it coming. Even if he did fly of the handle before he knew what was going on.

When Haley finally went inside the house, she spotted Jax exiting their bedroom. That said it all without saying anything at all. Jax always put Abel in the other room, in his swing, with the television on when he knew voices would raise.

Reaching her in the living room Jax was the first to explode. "What the hell, Haley!" His voice carried loud and deep through the house.

Going on the defensive instead of cowering, Haley shot back. "What the hell is right! You didn't have to be like that with them! You didn't even wait to see what was going on before you attacked!" Her voice rose trying to match his, but the feminine quality of hers always made it sound a little softer.

"He came to My house, to come on to you with Abel in your arms! What did I miss!" Jax called it out exactly as he saw it. His baby blue eyes now heated and hard as his lip snarled with the words. He couldn't believe this was happening. That someone would sneak in and try to steal his girl away right under his nose.

"It wasn't like that!" Haley denied with just as much passion on her breath. Her eyes barreled on him, refusing to submit, and beg for forgiveness.

Frustration thick in his veins, Jax's hand ran wildly through his tousled blonde locks as he tried to keep it together before an accusing finger lashed out at her. "You're lying to me, or your lying to yourself!" He through the truth in her face as his voice dropped low and serious.

"I'm not lying!' Haley's voice exploded as she desperately tried to make him and herself believe it. In her heart she felt certain her intentions were pure, but the situation had been a disaster.

Charging to his girl, Jax's roughly cupped her face in his palms, but never rough enough to hurt her, he'd never hurt her. Just forceful enough to make her look him dead in the eyes. "You still have feeling for him." He wasn't yelling his time. His voice was angry, but collected, and something in his eyes screamed he needed her to admit it.

Staring into his baby blue eyes that she loved so much. Seeing him silently beg her for something, Haley couldn't betray him. Taking a deep breath, in her exhale her head nodded slightly against his palms. "Yeah, I still have feelings for him." She somberly admitted as her lower lip trembled with the sad way it made her feel inside to say those words to him.

His hands slipped from her face as his eyes filled with indescribably hurt before they closed. Taking a step back, Jax's fisted clenched at his sides with the way her words pierced him inside. "Dammit!" He cursed into the air, directed at no one in particular.

Being brutally honest, having it break her heart to tell the truth, Haley wanted him to do the same. She felt it was the least she deserved. "But don't act like you're the only one who can point the finger." Haley spoke quietly on her breath as tears filled her eyes, but didn't fall.

In an instant, Jax spun on his heels to her. Something guarded hung in his eyes as he stared at her. "What are you talking about?" He denied or maybe just didn't understand it all yet.

Something angry twitched on her lip as she felt he was pretending to be ignorant about something that had haunted her since it first came to light. "Tara, Jax! Tara! You think I don't know you still have feelings for her!" Haley's answer came out in a far more passionate yell then she had intended.

Adamantly Jax's head shook with denial, but they, both knew denial was all it was.

Never backing down just because he didn't want to hear this, he had forced her to bring the truth to light, now she was going to do the same. "I've always known. She's the one that got away, right? We all have them, but don't act like I'm the only one." Her voice grew thick with emotion as a tear cascaded down her cheek. Her heart broke having to say those words. Words she had only admitted to herself in her lowest moments. Words she had never had the guts to tell him she knew until now.

Rising tall again with broad shoulders Jax had heard enough. Without a glance, he started out of the room to fully dress. "I don't have time for this. I have a club meeting I have to be to in twenty minutes. Don't ever let him around here again." Brushing her off, Jax wouldn't go there with Haley. Not about Tara. She was a sensitive topic for Jax. One he wouldn't talk about, especially not with Haley. He loved Haley passionately deep, and he had never betrayed her with Tara. To Jax that meant he didn't have to explain what Tara meant to him either.

A heated angry huff left Haley's chest as she watched him walk down the hall into their bedroom. "Of course you do." She answered back absently to herself as his back was all her eyes could see. Walking away from her, creating distance in more ways then one.

Standing there alone in the living room, Haley couldn't help but ask herself what she was doing there. Did she really love him so much she'd put up with a life she didn't agree with. To put up with a heart that would always only be half way hers, even though she knew he could say the same. Haley wasn't sure anymore… A little more everyday Haley wasn't sure.

_Strike me down , Better left it all unknown, Strike me down , Should have held it all alone_

_Wash the questions off my hands, I'm the fate in no one's plans_

_Strike me down , Give it everything you've got, Strike me down, I'll be everything I'm not_

Two weeks later everything had gone back to usual. Life on the same old twisted rollercoaster tracks. Dean was a distant memory, and forbidden word.

Everything was as mundane as it could be until the one straw breaking day it wasn't. Jax had been due pack hours ago. Simple club run to another town he had told her, but as the hours dragged on Haley's worry builded and clouded her mind. Gemma had come by the house to pick of Abel a few hours before, but in true Gemma form her lips were mute to where Jax was. His mother having always had a bad taste in her mouth toward Haley. Never feeling she was good enough for him.

As the evening hours settled in Haley was beside herself. Seated on the couch she waited anxiously for any news. Biting her nails, tapping her toes to pass the time, and release the nerves racing through her veins.

Finally as the sun began to set Jax returned, storming through the front door like the force of nature he was. Jumping off the cushions, and onto her feet, Haley raced to him. The sight of blood smeared all over his cloths stopped her heart beating in her chest as a gasp left her lips.

"Oh my god! Are you ok?" Haley frantically questioned as shaking hands reached for him, trying to find a wound.

Cupping her cheek to catch her attention as their eyes met, reassurance left his lips.

"I'm fine. It's not my blood." He explained, offering her a quick subtle smile to quiet her worry.

Releasing her face, Jax moved past her, and headed for their bedroom. Haley moved quick behind him. Hot on his heels, her worries barely subsided with the knowledge at least he was ok. "What happened?" Haley called to his back, her heart racing. Knowing that even though he wasn't hurt it was clear someone was, and with the amount of blood on him it looked really bad.

"Juice got shot on the run." Jax explained, something calm in the way he spoke as if he was trying not to rile her up. Trying to protect her from the chaos of his life with the club.

"Is he ok?" Her voice filled with emotion as worry plagued her heart. Haley wasn't particularly close with any of the other bikers, but she knew what they meant to Jax, and that was enough to warrant her concern.

"He'll be fine. Tara patched him up." Jax tried to keep it light. Keep her in the shadows as much as he could. Telling himself it was what was best for her. Her dislike for the club not a secret to him. Reaching their room, Jax slid his leather vest off his shoulders as he headed for the bathroom, no detours.

"What about the other guy?" Haley dared to question as apprehension filled her heart. Having learned long ago an injury to a member of the club always got retribution in return.

"What other guy?" Jax asked, a lack of understanding thick on his breath as he yanked his bloody white tee-shirt off his toned back to reveal his sexy full length club tattoo, and tossed it to the floor.

"The one who shot him." Haley slowly and quietly let the words slip off her breath since she already knew he wasn't going to want to answer that. Her eyes hung on him, open and honest if only he would be.

"I'm gonna take a shower. Need to rinse off." Jax brushed over her question passively, not willing to give her the ugly details as his hands undid his belt buckle, and jeans before letting the heavy fabric fall the ground with a quiet thud.

"Jax," Haley pleaded with him, and it could be easily heard in her voice as she watched her boyfriend step from his discarded jeans, and head for the shower.

Turning back around, he finally met her eyes. Seeing the begging in her iris, he softened. Touching her cheek enduringly gentle once again with his rough texture palm Jax tried to quiet her. "Baby, please don't ask me questions you don't want answers to." This time it was his voice that was pleading, before he leaned down, placing a brief sensual kiss upon her lips. A kiss that in the beginning of them would have been enough to satisfy her, and shut her up, but not anymore. It only made her heart ache worse now.

Pulling back in a second he was gone, as the sound of the shower water hitting the stall filled his place.

Like a good girlfriend Haley scooped up his bloody cloths, and carried them to the washroom. Turning the machine on, she stuffed them into the washer. That's when she noticed it, the blood had smeared onto her hands, deep red and blinding. Heart pounding with the sight of it, Haley quickly rushed for the kitchen with the desperate urge to scrub herself clean.

Running her hand under the water, her chocolate eyes fell to the bottom of the stink, watching the swirling blood spiral down the drain, Haley had an epiphany. A moment of clarity that happens too rarely in someone's life. As if the clouds parted, the light finally showed through. She wasn't ok with this. This didn't settle right in her heart.

It wasn't like Jax was her first boyfriend who killed things, but these weren't monsters. These weren't creatures who aren't human. These were people. People with lives, families, and loved ones her boyfriend's club destroyed with the choices they made everyday. And as long as she stood silently by him, cleaning up the mess, their blood was on her hands too. Blood that wouldn't just wash away with soap and hot water. She still loved him just as much, but it wasn't enough anymore. In that moment Haley knew she couldn't live like this, and live with herself. Not anymore. In that moment she knew what she had to do. No matter how badly it would break her heart to do it.

_I hid my soiled hands behind my along the line, I must've gone Off track with you_

_Well, Excuse me, Guess I've mistaken you for somebody else, Somebody who gave a damn, Somebody more like myself._

Jax emerged from the bathroom, refreshed from his shower. While actions weighed heavy on his heart, because he still did have a good heart, a shower always seemed to help.

He was surprised when he couldn't find Haley in the bedroom where he expected her to be. Where she'd usually be waiting for him after he came out of a shower. Walking out into the living room, Jax finally found her. Her purse hung on her shoulder, catching his attention right away, and slowed his step. "You're going somewhere?" Jax asked nonchalantly as he entered the living room. The question instantly answered for him as he finally noticed from close range the sadness piercing her eyes as if she was about to break. That's when he spotted her duffle bag, full, and set by the door. "Your leaving." He stated simply, as the words settled in under his skin, and stung.

Tears welled up in her eyes as his baby blues caught her gaze. "I'm sorry, Jax. I really wanted us to work." She confessed, and meant it with every beat of her heart. Seeing the pain in her eyes, was almost enough to make her want to cower back into his arms, and change her mind, but she couldn't. Not this time, not if she wanted to be able to look herself in the mirror a year from now.

A guarded manly huff left his chest as he dismissed her words of apology, and headed for the kitchen. "Going back to him?" Jax shot back with a little bit of spite on his tongue as he reached into the fridge, and pulled out an ice cold beer.

Turning to face him as he lingered in the kitchen for a moment, and took a big swig, Haley shook her head in disagreement. "No, I'm going back home." She explained with a heavy breath. She heart breaking with the sight of him. Knowing this would be their last few moments together.

Jax nodded silently before heading back to the living, he didn't believer her for a second. "Right, sure." He let slip sarcastically off his lips as he lowered into his favorite old recliner chair, and took another swig of his beer. Trying to pretend as if her departure wasn't tearing him up inside.

Hearing what he was getting at, Haley went to the couch, and took a heavy seat. Facing him, she needed him to understand before she left. She needed him to know why she was leaving, and that it wasn't Dean. "This isn't about him. This is about us. I'm never going to be 'old lady' material. I'm not cut out for this. I don't belong in your world, and you'd never be happy in mine. It doesn't mean I don't love you. It just means this can't work." Laying her heart out on the line, Haley hoped he could understand. Her heart ached in her chest with the finalization of it all as a grief stricken tear slipped from her eye.

Glancing at her quickly, not wanting her to see the pain he knew was blinding in his eyes and throbbing in his heart, Jax wrapped it up. Staying strong like he was.

"Well sounds like you made up your mind then." He stated numbly, because what else was there to say. There was no questioning in her voice or words, only finalization. He believed they could get through this, get past it, but she didn't want to. He could see there was no changing her mind.

Rising from couch, knowing in her heart this was it. This was the end. She went to Jax. Standing before him, Haley had hoped he'd meet her eyes, but he only avoided her gaze. Reaching out with a gentle touch she cupped his prickled cheek. Stoking it with her thumb, until his eyes finally rose to meet hers. "I'm sorry. I never wanted it to end this way. I really do love you. Give Abel a kiss goodbye for me." She laid her heart out bare and honest as it broke with her words. A few warm tears slipped free from her eyes before she quickly wiped them away. Releasing her hand, Haley leaned down, and softly kissed his cheek goodbye. Pulling back, without another word, Haley went to the door. Grabbing her bag, she slung it over her shoulder. Giving one last glance over to the place she called home, and to the man she had called her love, to always remember, Haley walked out the door.

_These foolish games are tearing me apartAnd your thoughtless words are breaking my 're breaking my heart…_

_Songs used,_

_Jewel, "Foolish Games"_

_Sneaker Pimps, "Lightening Field"_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Only Fools Rush In**_

_You took your coat off, Stood in the rain,You're always crazy like that_

Sitting alone on a bench at the bus stop, her duffle bag at her side, Haley had never felt more alone. Her eyes glued to the ground as quiet tears kept slipping free from her eyes. Tears she'd quickly wipe away so no one could see her pain.

Jax's face just before she left kept flashing through her mind. Fracturing her heart ever deeper, until it felt like the grand canyon had split open in there, but she refused to go back. No matter how badly her heart was breaking she knew she made the choice she had to. If she had stayed, eventually she would have hated the person she became, and worst of all she would have resented him for being the road that lead her there, even if it was her own two feet that took the journey.

Her cell phone fiddled in her hand. Two voicemail's on it she hadn't dared to listen to. Dean had called twice in the past two weeks. She never told Jax about it, and she never answered, but sitting there alone on that bench as the sun rapidly set, bringing in the darkness to match her shattered old life lying at her feet, Haley suddenly wondered if she was ready to hear those messages.

Dialing her voicemail, Haley listened silently with her phone tucked in her lush hair, against her ear as his thick deep voice filled her ear drum. His message was mundane and it said every she expected it would, but sitting there in that moment one line kept repeating over and over in her head… "Call if you ever need anything," he had said.

Before Haley could think it through. Before she could back down, Haley followed her heart, and quickly called him back. She listened to the line ring and ring, until finally his voicemail picked up. A sigh left her throat, some how this seemed like fate that he hadn't answered. He could be miles away by now. The job over. She had been tempted to just hang up, and accept what the fortunes were telling her, but instead she left a message.

"Hey Dean, it's me… Haley… Listen I'm at the bus stop in Charming. My bus leaves in two hours. If you get here before then," She stalled on the line, letting out a deep breath, she took the plunge.

"…I'll be here." Quickly Haley hung up the phone, and shoved it in her pocket, unsure she had made the right choice. Unsure what her message meant.

The hours dragged on, and disappeared. Clouds rolled in with the darkness as she continued to sit like a statue whose beloved artists had died ages ago. Thirty minutes before her bus was set to arrive, something freakish happened. The heavens opened up, and rain poured down. Unheard of in California, especially in the summer, but here Haley was sitting on a bench getting drenched to the bone by the second.

She sat there, taking her cosmic punishment. Letting the rain blend with her tears, and wash them again. Before she finally gathered her pride, and rose from her seat, bag in hand.

Making her way over to the shielded bus station for shelter, Haley heard the roar of the engine even before she heard him.

Her steps stopped in elation, but she refused to turn around, almost disbelieving it was real.

Until his deep thick voice she loved so dearly filled the rain pelted air. "Haley!" Dean hollered as he raced out of his car, and into the storm.

A smile filled her face, and resonated in heart, healing the cracks as Haley turned on her heels to see him racing to her.

Growing soaked by the second, Dean stopped before her, inches away, and just gazed down into her eyes.

Tears of joy filled Haley's chocolate orbs with the sight of him that took her breath away. The man who had always owned her heart, even when he shouldn't have, but with him it had never been a choice. From the moment he walked into her life, he had swept her off her feet with his rough around the edges charm.

When she didn't speak, Dean jumped into action, caring for her the way he use to. The way his heart always wanted to. Slipping his leather jacket off his arms, Dean wrapped the heavy coat around her shoulders. "Here put this on. Your soaked." His gritty voice instructed with a gentle touch, and love that shined in his emerald eyes.

"I didn't leave him for you." Haley blurted out, before she even knew what she was doing. "I wouldn't do that. I had my reasons. Reasons that had nothing to do with you." She rambled on as she gazed lost into his eyes. Saying things she needed him to know before they took another step.

Dean stared down at her with an amused smirk. Here she was frazzled, soaked, and rambling, but still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. "I didn't say anything." He stated simply, the sound of his rough voice penetrating against the sound of the dropping rain.

Grabbing her discarded bag at her side off the ground, Dean reached for her hand, clasping it with his. He began to lead her toward the car, wanting to get her out of the rain since she was drenched to the bone, but Haley tugged back, halting his step as his piercing emerald eyes flashed to her.

Catching his eyes, tangling them with hers, Haley found her heart slipping off her lips in the moment.

"I just… I can't help the way I feel about you, Dean." Her lower lip trembled insecurely with her confession. Scared by what it meant for her, meant for them.

His sexy smirk morphed in a gentle heartwarming grin as he stepped to her once again. Cupping her supple cheeks softly in the palms of his hands, Dean gazed down on her, lost in the beauty of her eyes, and the way they could captivate him body and heart.

"Me too," He quietly confessed back from a heart that had always belonged to her.

Without another word, Dean leaned down, and kissed her forehead tenderly soft. Saying without words he respected she needed time. He respected what he happened with her and Jax, but none of it mattered. Not time or anyone else was ever going to change the way he felt about her and the fact that she had called him said the same.

_Wise men say only fools rush in But I can't help falling in love with you Shall I stay , Would it be a sin If I can't help falling in love with you _

_Jewel "Foolish Games" & Ingrid Michaelson "Can't Help Falling In Love With You"_


End file.
